We had stake conference today and yesterday and had Lynn G. Robbins come and speak to us. I wasn't feeling good on Saturday night when adult session started, and as I was driving over (Samuel was watching the kids, who also weren't quite feeling great yet), I started to feel like people would judge me for going because I was obviously sick. Then I felt, "Your spirit is sick. You need to go."
I felt the Spirit so much during the broadcast and want to record some of the things he shared as well as my thoughts. Everything he said was just what I needed to hear.
He talked about distractions, and how we need to give the Lord "the firstlings of our time." He talked about simplicity and how we unnecessarily complicate our lives with distractions (books, iTunes, amazon, podcasts, ted talks, social media, etc). He talked about how simplifying our lives relates to financial security. He said the #1 financial principle he saw in his work was to believe that "I have sufficient for my needs." The more we consume, the more life we are trading. It doesn't matter how much money you make, if we don't curb our desire for MORE, we won't have enough. There is never enough for the natural man. Once you free yourself from wanting more, more, more, you free your mind and open it up to creativity. I loved that thought. He said the opposite to that thought is "I can buy anything in this world with money." He talked about how there is a burden to ownership and we have to ask ourselves, is it worth it to own it or can we just rent? Few rich men own their things, their things own them. Satan wants us to accumulate things because he knows they will take up our time. He doesn't want money, he wants our time.
Then he talked about resiliency. He said that something is happening with the youth. We are raising youth that are not as resilient. People are coming home from missions because they don't have the resiliency to deal with hard challenges. He prompted us to think about three questions:
What did your parents do to raise you to be resilient?
What am I doing to raise my children to be resilient?
What is Heavenly Father doing to raise me to be resilient?
He opened up to the audience and had people share their ideas, and then expounded on them. He talked about the value of work, and of not making life easier for your kids. Don't be a "snowplow parent" (an especially apt analogy for where we live, haha). Don't prepare the road for your child, prepare your child for the road. Try to have a balance between charity and self reliance. Too much of charity leads to the Santa Claus syndrome and entitlement but too much of self reliance leads to Scrooge syndrome, with negativity and isolation. He talked about Helen Keller and having high expectations for your kids, even those with disabilities. Stand by them, but don't shield them from life's challenges. How were the early saints resilient? Connect your children to a "family narrative" of resilience. He talked about trusting our kids with responsibilities like letting a one year old hold a spoon, even though it means there will be a radius of mess around them. Have faith and patience to let them learn skills and make mistakes. Lastly, love them. Make your home a safe place for making mistakes. He said we have more control over our emotions than we think we do. We choose to be angry. Choose to never do anything to make your home anything but a safety net for your kids to learn. Remember that the Savior was the perfect example of resilience when He performed the Atonement. "Our success in life is going from failure to failure without any loss of enthusiasm." View obstacles as stepping stones instead of stumbling blocks.
I really loved these thoughts. It has made me think about my own resilience. Do I run from challenges? I think my natural instinct if something is hard is to want to run away or give up. Raising a family here has been difficult this year and so many times, I have felt negative or frustrated. But I can look at the positive - I am raising hardy children! They are doing hard things, and so am I. Instead of viewing the challenges in my marriage as hard things I hate, I can view them as stepping stones and avenues for growth. I can teach my children to be resilient, to try again when they have a struggle. I think my Heavenly Father does not shield me from hard things, but instead is ready and waiting for me when I come to Him. He doesn't always make my path easier, but He does at times help me have experiences that are lights on my path.
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