May is my favorite month.

I've decided that May is my favorite month. McCall comes alive as the snow all melts (except this year it snowed 3 inches on May 17! So crazy..but it all melted quickly). The weather is 70's and the flowers start blooming. But not only that, these are a few others reasons why I love May so much:

1. Outdoor Adventures & Sunshine

Annalise and I on our first solo longer hike! She slept like a champ the whole way & was all smiles after.

 2. Mother's Day

Samuel made me breakfast in bed/in nursing chair and snapped this photo that I love.

3. Lots of these moments:

Annie's first chariot bike ride :)

4. Our Anniversary

We took a cruise on the lake this year to celebrate our first anniversary. It was delightful and beautiful! 

5. My Birthday

Family Bike ride to the lake

Kayaking while a friend watched Annalise- our first date since baby was born! SO FUN!

Picnic on the beach as a family

And last but not least - APPLE CRISP! My favorite dessert. :) Samuel spoiled me!

Annalise's Baby Blessing- May 28, 2017

Enjoying some huckleberry ice cream with Martha & family!

Samuel did a great job with Annalise's baby blessing. He put a lot of preparation into it! I really felt the Spirit and it was such a special experience. 

My friend Maranda crocheted this beautiful blessing gown & bonnet for Annalise! It was SO CUTE.

Here is the master crafter herself! She drove overnight to come to the blessing.

You can kind of see the detail on the dress here. She used an off white thread as well as white .

Samuel's parents drove all the way from southern Colorado to be here for the blessing, a 13 + hour trip! She is lucky to have supportive grandparents.

Here is the whole group!

My old roommates, Ronnie, Kasia, and Nicole all surprised me by coming to the blessing. Bethany, my adventure partner and friend from Salt Lake, also surprised me by hopping in Nicole's car. It was so fun to have them all here!

Maranda's husband/my friend Jon also came and we took them to Pancake House for the iconic cinnamon roll. YUM

We spent the Monday following the blessing adventuring. Here we are at Ponderosa look out

So lucky to have such awesome friends!

Bethany snapped this photo of me and Annalise after I fed her. Look closely; there is spit up coming out in this exact moment! Ha!

baby rolls & smiles at six weeks

I woke up today and my baby had rolls and was full of smiles. Her smiles lately are coming more frequently and bring me to tears sometimes (of happiness!) I'm so happy when she is happy. Those moments are like tender mercies when I feel like I'm doing an okay job as a mother (although I'm fully aware that children being happy/unhappy is not always an indicator of success as a parent, so maybe I should reframe that). Nonetheless, they are sweet moments.

My view 

Ball of cuteness, right there

Superbaby!

She loves to suck on her hands these days. Also, her thigh rolls get me every time.

And sticking out her little tongue :)

 I want to capture my mornings with her. My bed head, lack of makeup, and tired eyes but time with just me and her that I've really just come to love. She is pretty smiley in the morning, usually wakes up wriggling and alive and wanting food NOW. I love her little hands that curl around her face or pull on my shirt as she is feeding, all the squeaks and snorts that she makes, and her body snuggled up next to mine, feet kicking or bent up all baby-like.

Her face in this one makes me laugh.

I've been getting out more lately and it is refreshing. I took her on a hike the other day for an hour and she slept the whole time in the carrier. There were lots of hills and it felt good to get my heart rate up somewhat. Yesterday I went running for the first time and my pace was so slow, I might as well be pregnant again. My hips, knees, and back also hurt so I only ran 1.5 miles. It was nice to smell the fresh air and have some "me time," though. Something I'm going to take everyday. The doctor cleared me for exercise but he hasn't actually checked to see if everything is healed...so I'm still hesitant to do anything intense.

We've been going on more outings like visits (I'm in the relief society presidency- church organization for women), hikes, grocery store trips, rides, bike rides, etc. Annalise is getting used to sleeping in the car seat, carrier, and bike chariot and does a pretty good job. We are traveling to Chicago soon for my bestie's wedding. I was initially worried about the trip but not so much anymore. Nursing in public was a struggle until I problem-solved with positioning and coverage and now it is getting a lot better.

Annalise still spits up a bit but it's gotten so much better, so that is nice (knock on wood). Her normal sleep schedule is sleeping from 7 or 8 pm until 3 or 4 am, and then waking up again between 6 and 8 am. We recently moved her into her crib room and us back into our bedroom across the house with a monitor that sounds when she cries loudly. I have slept so much better, only waking up to the monitor instead of to EVERY sound she makes (which is a lot including grunts, whimpers, squeaks, coughs, etc). She seems to wake up happy, so I don't think I'm traumatizing her too much by moving across the house. Although sometimes I catch myself half-asleep muttering to Samuel or to myself, "Is she okay? Is she crying?"

Making Blog Private

As I'm beginning to post more personal photos of our growing family, I'd like to make our blog private to prevent strangers or people I don't know from reading or copying the photos. If you'd like to continue reading this blog, please send me your email address (and name) to my email: hatch.lindsey@gmail.com or comment on this post with your email address and name. Thank you!

Sunday Thoughts on Motherhood and the Savior

Today is Sunday. I love Sundays! Because I've been staying home to take care of The Babe and not attending church, I've been trying to make my thoughts a little more focused on Christ on Sundays (something I should do every day, really).

It's been surprising to me how close to the Spirit I feel when I try to think about the Savior and follow Him. Today I was able to read in Alma 49 about Moroni's preparations for war against the Lamanites. Moroni was aware of their (military) weaknesses and took precautions so that "they were prepared [for the Lamanties], in a manner which never had been known among the children of Lehi." He took the cities, "which had hitherto been a weak place...[and], by the means of Moroni, [made them] strong."

It has made me reflect on my own personal weakness. Am I aware of my weaknesses? What preparations am I doing to combat Satan's temptations? Am I "prepared in a manner which never had been known?" How can I prepare?

It has made me think of the scripture (one of my favorites) in Ether 12:27. God gives us weaknesses so that we can choose to be humble as He makes us aware of them. And then, as we choose to humble ourselves and turn to Him, He will make weak things become strong. Such an awesome promise!

Even though I am new to this motherhood thing, it has already made me painfully aware of my own weakness. I've realized that I am not naturally a very patient person. My husband seems to be able to be patient to levels that I am currently unable to (I blame lack of sleep), slowly rocking our sweet babe to sleep in his arms as I gave up thirty minutes earlier and ate a bowl of ice cream instead.

Elder Nelson said in his last general conference talk, Drawing the Power of Jesus Christ into Our Lives, "When you reach up for the Lord's power in your life with the same intensity that a drowning person has when grasping and gasping for air, power from Jesus Christ will be yours. When the Savior knows you truly want to reach up to Him--when He can feel that the greatest desire of your heart is to draw His power into your life--you will be led by the Holy Ghost to know exactly what you should do." In addition, a question I have myself, "If I could spiritually stretch enough to draw the Savior's power into my life, I would know how to handle my heart-wrenching [and in my case mildly irritating and tiring] situation. I would know what to do. And I would have the power to do it."

My situation is not heart-wrenching (although at times it has felt that way as my little babe looks at me and starts screaming for no reason and won't stop) (I'm being dramatic, she's not that bad most of the time). But I have recognized that, relying solely on my own capabilities to raise this little babe, I will fall short. Today I prayed that He would help me to have the patience and love that I need to help this baby! I can't begin to tell you the Spirit that flooded my heart and the peace that I felt inside, not to mention the patience that I felt that was not my own, even if it was just for that moment.

This is a lesson I have to learn over and over again. And a feeling I will experience day in and day out in the future. But I am so grateful to know today that Heavenly Father is aware of our circumstance, and because of Jesus Christ, we can have access to power to overcome our own weakness and progress. We can do it, with His help!

The next 10 days

Quotes from my last post that I now feel stupid about:

"I worried before having the baby that I would be grumpy, emotional and impatient all the time. And perhaps if she was a terrible sleeper, I would be." --> That came true yesterday as she did not sleep all day except when attached to me on a walk in my sling.  

"I worried that I would hate sitting around and feeling cooped up (and maybe I will in a few months)."--> Didn't take a few months. Only a few days.

"But I will say that it has been surprising so far how full my heart feels all the time."--> True, but it's hard to feel that full heart kinda feeling at 2 am when she keeps crying after I feed her.

"It has been surprising how much patience I have in the middle of the night."--> I now have about as much patience as I thought I would have. Maybe less. 

 It has been surprising how all I seem to need in life is her little hand holding mine as she is feeding. -->The only thing that is still true. I love her little hands and (most of the time) feeding is a positive experience and tender moment.

Things that have occurred in the past 10 days:

• Trying to get the babe to sleep all day (to no avail) then moving the pack n' play with her in it and having her instantaneously out for the next 7 hrs, only 2 of which I was able to sleep bc...
• Worrying she got some form of shaken baby syndrome when I moved the pack n' play because WHY IS SHE SLEEPING SO LONG and so soundly when all day she hasn't been?
• Thinking she is wheezing when it is actually just congestion but calling the ER to see if I should bring her in, them saying to bring her in, then deciding us deciding she is fine
• Her sleeping two long stretches at night last night - one 7 hr stretch and the other 5 hrs, but of course I didn't sleep bc I woke up with needles in my chest bc I'm in so much pain from not feeding her. Rolling my eyes for an hour and writhing in pain while listening to husband/babe snore soundly...bitterness sets in.
• Pumping in the middle of the night while emotional-eating a bratwurst in the dark
• Thinking this is dumb bc she probably will never sleep this long at night again and trying to get my body to adjust to it is pointless
• Worrying about her baby acne and her future teen years
• Weighing her in a makeshift cardboard box on our kitchen food scale to make sure she is gaining weight, at least she is, we think
• Trying relentlessly to get her to like a plastic form of my breast (BINKIE) but failing every time as she realizes it's not warm, and milky
• Putting pacifier back in her mouth 100x a day while she wakes up crying
• Me hating the pacifier bc it's ruining my life
• Wondering if I was like this as a child
• Listening to my mom/sisters laugh a ton as I recount these events
• Going on walks and the sunshine is LITERALLY my sanity lately
• Thinking that if my husband says he is tired today I will flip out bc HE IS NOT TIRED, I AM
• Wondering how on earth babe's schedule could be so insanely variable from day to day and wondering how my body will ever adjust to COMPLETE LACK OF SCHEDULE 
• Trying to cut her fingernails, ugh
• Still loving her little hands curled up around her face after I feed her and having that be one of the tender moments that keeps me going
• Crying every time I open a package lately from thoughtful friends/relatives
• Being way too honest with people when they ask how I'm doing lately and then making them feel awkward
• REALLY regretting and feeling stupid about how I told everyone four days after she was born, "She is such an easy baby! We're screwed if we have a second" I think we'll be okay if we decide to ever have children again.

Here is a photo of us before all of that happened.