Shifting Gears
Last Sunday, during church they were talking about spiritual momentum. Someone made a comment about the analogy of mountain biking - how momentum is essential to get over various obstacles, to keep moving forward. This analogy struck me so hard. I have been learning to mountain bike this summer, so I am personally aware of how momentum is an essential component of mountain biking. Someone else made a comment about how you have to keep moving forward, but sometimes you need to switch gears in order to make it up challenging hills and trials. This analogy has stuck with me lately as I have dealt with various challenges.
I had a couple months this summer of improved health- a cessation of migraines and other symptoms. I felt so grateful to have energy to clean my house, cook for my family, and even do some exercise on the side and push myself. A couple weeks ago I was basking in that blessing when the next day I woke up and had all the severe symptoms back. The past three weeks I've struggled with the symptoms coming and going. Just in the past three days, I've had unexplained severe abdominal pain, lightheadedness and problems breathing, fatigue, problems, and debilitating nausea. It's been discouraging. It is really isolating to deal with health challenges that are so poorly understood (by myself as well as doctors and the general population), especially that are also so unpredictable.
It has reminded me of this mountain biking analogy, which is really so applicable when dealing with chronic health issues. You'd think I would have learned this by now, but when I have a flare-up of symptoms, I have to adjust everything to it. It doesn't mean I don't move forward, I just have to switch gears for a while until things stabilize (which I am hopeful that they will eventually). What does that look like? Spending more time helping my body - resting on the couch, doing gentle yoga stretches, putting time into proper nutrition and hydration, more time on my spiritual pursuits, more time reading books in my down time, more time making gratitude lists and journaling, more time reading books to my kids and cuddling them.
Gardening
Another thing that has brought me a lot of joy this summer is gardening. I can't really put my finger on how or why it brings me joy but there is something about watering my garden and going out there to check on things that makes me happy. It reminds me a lot of Heavenly Father, really He designed the earth and He designed things to grow. Is there any earthly explanation of what makes something grow from a seed? Maybe, but it still seems miraculous to me and a witness to a divine creator. I think our testimonies are a lot like those seeds as Alma says, we just have to "nourish it." What am I doing every day to water my testimony and to nourish it? Am I actually kneeling and speaking to God in prayer? My efforts may be very meager but I have to trust that He is making something beautiful of my life, despite all of the challenges. It is hard to see sometimes in the midst of things. It's also interesting that, with a garden, I don't always feel like things have grown at an equal pace, sometimes it takes forever to a seed to sprout, then weeks will go by without considerable progress then all of a sudden a zucchini plant is pumping out several zucchinis a week. I think life/growth is like that as well. There are periods where all the nourishment is going into surviving, and then there are times when the growth is apparent and we reap the benefits (fruit) of the work and trial and consistent effort.
Gardening also takes patience - it takes patience to wait for the results. Sometimes I want to go in and pull out the carrot to check on it's growth but that would ruin the plant. So don't become too preoccupied with the result, trust the process of time (and God) to do His work with things. Don't expect immediate changes and give it time for the roots and growth to really expand it's reach in you.
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